Love146 has a vision that's been accused of naivety and idealism: the abolition of child trafficking and exploitation. Nothing less

As the designer at Love146, I deeply share this vision. At my core, I do believe a better world is coming. A restored world is possible. My faith calls it "The Kingdom," an earth that's restored, where the dynamic of "predators and prey" is past, and instead Lions curl up with Lambs. People of many backgrounds share a similar conviction. Though, admittedly, not all. Even though the world is a mess right now, and it's my reality, it's not what I'll orient my life around. Call me naive, but I'll stick to the idealistic vision.

I'm an artist and designer. Since joing the Love146 team as a designer three years ago, I've had countless experiences of being approached by individuals, moved by the cause to end slavery, who come sharing their conviction to join the work. Often it's a person saying they're meant to do therapy with trafficked children or start a safehome, or it's someone telling me they want to be an investigator or lawyer, takin' down traffickers and villains. My advice is usually to encourage the person to begin by pursuing a practice of this skill apart from trafficked persons. To the aspiring aftercare worker, I suggest to start working with kids at local afterschool programs and mentoring. Many times, people seem upset and confused by this answer, since surely I should want more co-workers in this fight (and I do!). Admittedly, it's less than encouraging for their compassionate hearts. Here's the thing though: if you aren't moved to invest deeply in the life of a 9th grader who hasn't been trafficked, yet you say you want to work in aftercare, then maybe you aren't really sure who you are apart from these problems. You may even be saying you care about problems more than you care about children, which is really dangerous. If you want to be a lawyer, do it because you have a passion for ethical principles and love to see them applied to complex realities of life. Not because you live soley to work with trafficked persons. Plus, victims of severe trauma and injustice deserve experienced and wise support.

If you aren't energized and fulfilled practicing a certain skill apart from really messed up stuff like trafficking, then you'll most likely experience burnout.

If you believe a better world is possible, who would you be in THAT world? If you don't know, then how can you help build that world? If your identity is dependent upon the problems of others, you'll not be able to, with integrity, contribute to a solution-- because that solution is a threat to your identity. At a deep level, it's a conflict of interest that will sabotage your impact and likely lead to burnout and disillusionment.

That's why I love Nicole, our Love146 social worker in the Love146 US Office. Nicole loves adolescent kids. Apart from her work with Love146, Nicole in her personal time is a committed mentor of five adolescent girls. From what I hear, these girls deal with issues of real life, but they're not all "glamour cases" in which Nicole would hang her identity as some savior. She just does it because she loves kids, not their problems. Nicole demonstrates her vision of a world without trafficking and exploitation by putting herself in that world and loving it. I, thus, trust her to walk beside victims when her work at Love146 requires it. 

I love design. Doing designs that help end trafficking is fulfilling, don't get me wrong. But if I didn't love design without a world full of problems, I could never work with such difficult things without burning out. I don't love trafficking- I love design. And that's what keeps me going. I'd love to be a designer in a world without slavery. Since that world doesn't yet exist, I'm glad to help build it in the meantime-- and by all means, join me.

-Marilyn

@marilyn146

ps: if the world was right, and you'd like to be things like a teacher, a web developer, a counselor, a filmmaker, an administrator, and a partier (aka rallier of movements)... then keep tuned into our employment page over the coming years. :)

It's tough work advocating on the issues we are trying to tackle.

In Cambodia there are a number of people and organizations working to address child exploitation and trafficking.

But people often confide in me how lonely they feel. 

Love146 believes strongly that organizations must care for their workers if they want them to care about the issues and for the individual survivors. So we try to help organizations in supporting their own people, not just those they are seeking to serve. 

In the last month, I have facilitated a marriage-enrichment course and women's retreat by a British couple which involved people from 21 organizations, worked with several NGO leaders talking through the very real challenges they face every day and provided pastoral support to a young guy who arrived a few months ago and is settling in to an alien culture. I've discussed with one group how they can protect themselves from being inappropriately approached by "clients" of sex workers, talked with another about developing a Child Protection Policy and enabled one person to get counseling to prevent burn-out. 

This is not an unusual month.

At the same time I am grateful for those who take time to listen to me complain about the challenges I face and how tired I am just before I commit to something else!

I remind myself to be gracious to those who are impatient with me — a trait I know only too well myself!

I was challenged by a colleague that most people here are simply trying to do too much because there is SO MUCH to do but that doing less may actually be more productive in the long run.

Money is not the only commodity that is in short supply here. Working out how to balance time spent with family, friends and work is a perpetual challenge.

I like the 13th Century Prayer of St. Francis:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

"I need to take a shower, but my hair looks really really good already. #firstworldproblems"

"I just dropped my laptop on my foot! Ow! #firstworldproblems"

"I wish I could unwatch the entire Lost series so I could watch it again without knowing anything. #firstworldproblems"

"I hate when I forget my electric toothbrush on vacation... Using a regular toothbrush is the worst! #firstworldproblems"

So has anyone seen the trend on social media of joking about First World Problems? I find it hilarious. Poking jokes at the pseudo or privilege-dependent problems we face is actually a great way to laugh at ourselves while keeping perspective.

So where does this perspective hit a wall? When it reinforces the gap between our worlds as something uncrossable and unconnected. When it exacerbates the "us/them" at the expense of our common humanity.

Last week at workshop, I heard a humanitarian telling stories about reconciliation happening in Rwanda- of men and women forgiving those who'd murdered their family members and visiting the site of their deaths with the killers. Intense stuff. As he commented on their courage to overcome their hurt and anger, he said in passing "and we get angry about stuff like waiting in line for our latte or getting cut off in traffic!" 

It was a classic "First World Problems" moment- but it was really off, I think.

So, don't get me wrong: if hearing stories from the developing world gives you perspective on what's really important in your life, that's so legit. But still I thought to myself: "I'm fairly positive the people in this room have more to be angry about in life than waiting for a latte!"

I know I do. I'm angry that my father has chosen substances over his family. I'm angry that some people at the churches I grew up in in found it unacceptable to date outside of my racial background. I'm angry at those who took advantage and victimized me in childhood. Just because we're in the developed world, it doesn't mean we're less human.

As a communicator in the non-profit world, I am convinced that sensationalizing the suffering of those we help or invalidating the suffering of those who donate to our work breaks down the human connection between us. It robs us of the real value we have to give to one another.

Needing courage to face our pain is not a "third world problem." As I hear about those we help at Love146, I'm inspired towards greater hope and bravery as I confront my own real pain. It's my aim to pass to you that same gift. This cannot happen if I blind myself to the reality of pain in the lives of those reading this, or if I depict the pain of exploitation as something unrelatable and  beyond the human experience (don't get me wrong, it would probably raise more money, but it would still be cheap!) 

One of the easiest lies I could tell you is that because children affected by trafficking need help, you don't. That's a lie. We are all human: We hurt. We hope. We suffer. We Love. We need each other.

Let's not deny our humanity by thinking our problems in the developed world are invalid. And don't deny the humanity of those in the developing world by thinking they have nothing to offer you in their "poverty."

As a supporter of Love146, I think being connected to this work is a great help to each of us in the restoration of our own humanity. As a channel between our supporters and what's happening in the field, I'll keep trying my best not to get in the way.

-Marilyn

@Marilyn146

just a quick note: I do know the terms "first world" and "third world" have become derogatory. I also know trafficking is certainly not only a problem in the developing world. I kept with these conventions in this blog just to make a clear comment on the trend and thinking surrounding "first world problems."

When so many organisations are asking for money and seeking to make change on your behalf, we recognise that long term change only happens when you, the giver, also become an active participant in that change. But what does change look like? What could significant change look like here in our nations with our own child trafficking issues?

Two years ago I was in a gathering in London and one of the speakers was a guy called Cyrille Regis. His name will not translate cross Atlantic in the way that David Beckham's might and you would have to be older than 30, or a real soccer fan, to know who Cyrille Regis is. Whilst I certainly fall into the over 30′s category, my lack of soccer knowledge meant I hadn’t a clue. 

Well, Cyrille used to play for England! But more than this, he was one of the first two black players to be invited into the England national squad at a time when racism was still alive and well amongst the general UK population.

Listening to Cyrille, he spoke about what his career was like 30 years ago. He went from playing in a lower league club with hundreds of people chanting racist abuse, to being thrust into the spotlight with the England Squad and thousands chanting racist abuse and, as Cyrille said, "throwing bananas onto the pitch". Cyrille was sharing this story because he wanted to celebrate our capacity as people to partner with change.

In his own lifetime, he has seen the issue of racism change considerably in the UK. The general public consciousness changed from a minority voice to the majority finding racism unacceptable on the streets, in the workplace, in education, on the soccer terraces and in law. Not only has legislation been implemented to curtail those who wish to continue to be racist, that legislation is implemented and perpetrators are brought to justice.

All of this changed in just 30 years, that tide we sometimes talk about... had turned. 

So is it impossible to think that through public awareness, strongly held public opinion and action, legislation and law enforcement, that we could see our nations become a safe place for children, free from exploitation and from sexual abuse?

We need you as an advocate and an activist, seeing bad laws changed, good laws implemented, communities safeguarded and minds transformed.

"Criticism is necessary and useful; it is often indispensable; but it can never take the place of action, or be even a poor substitute for it. It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

—Theodore Roosevelt

There has been so much said and written regarding Invisible Children’s Kony 2012 effort over the last month, and there will be more said and written with the launch of their “Cover the Night” campaign. While there have been some thoughtful critiques as well as thoughtful responses to those critiques, there have also been plenty who have been at best, unhelpful and cynical, and at worst, venomous in their criticism. 
 

A common criticism made about the Kony 2012 effort has been that it is nothing more than a shallow awareness campaign inviting a “slactivism” or “bandwagon” response. I’ve previously posted my thoughts on bandwagons HERE.
 

In regard to awareness being “shallow,” I say; “so what?” Most of us get to the deeper water by entering in through the shallows. I don’t know many effective activists (who are STILL activists) who just jumped in at the deep end. Those who do, usually don’t swim for very long. They are beat down by waves of adversity or are overwhelmed by how deep, dark and murky the waters of complexity are. They drown with good intentions. Good intentions don’t make great life preservers. 

Let’s be honest. We usually enter the world of activism through the shallow water. That’s smart activism. We wade in slowly and thoughtfully, getting used to the temperature and “feel” of the water before going deeper. This approach also gives us time to receive some swimming lessons from those who have been swimming in these waters for a long time. What we need are fewer critics and more mentors. Those who have the maturity to teach, suggest and guide rather than criticize, discredit and disqualify.
 

The coach who can teach and correct while encouraging and mentoring is much more effective then the coach who is constantly telling you that you suck and that you’re doing it all wrong.
 

Stephen Colbert wrote; “Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength…say “yes'.”
 

So maybe you find yourself standing on the shore, looking for an entry point into the water. The deep end looks intimidating. Begin by wading in through the shallows. If you find yourself in the shallow water, look to those who have been swimming for a long time…and learn as you venture into deeper waters. And lastly…if you are in deep water…stick together. It’s not safe to swim alone. There are sharks in the water. But wherever you find yourself…by all means, say “yes”.
 

Rob

President & Co-founder, Love146
Follow me on Twitter HERE