Love146 has a vision that's been accused of naivety and idealism: the abolition of child trafficking and exploitation. Nothing less

As the designer at Love146, I deeply share this vision. At my core, I do believe a better world is coming. A restored world is possible. My faith calls it "The Kingdom," an earth that's restored, where the dynamic of "predators and prey" is past, and instead Lions curl up with Lambs. People of many backgrounds share a similar conviction. Though, admittedly, not all. Even though the world is a mess right now, and it's my reality, it's not what I'll orient my life around. Call me naive, but I'll stick to the idealistic vision.

I'm an artist and designer. Since joing the Love146 team as a designer three years ago, I've had countless experiences of being approached by individuals, moved by the cause to end slavery, who come sharing their conviction to join the work. Often it's a person saying they're meant to do therapy with trafficked children or start a safehome, or it's someone telling me they want to be an investigator or lawyer, takin' down traffickers and villains. My advice is usually to encourage the person to begin by pursuing a practice of this skill apart from trafficked persons. To the aspiring aftercare worker, I suggest to start working with kids at local afterschool programs and mentoring. Many times, people seem upset and confused by this answer, since surely I should want more co-workers in this fight (and I do!). Admittedly, it's less than encouraging for their compassionate hearts. Here's the thing though: if you aren't moved to invest deeply in the life of a 9th grader who hasn't been trafficked, yet you say you want to work in aftercare, then maybe you aren't really sure who you are apart from these problems. You may even be saying you care about problems more than you care about children, which is really dangerous. If you want to be a lawyer, do it because you have a passion for ethical principles and love to see them applied to complex realities of life. Not because you live soley to work with trafficked persons. Plus, victims of severe trauma and injustice deserve experienced and wise support.

If you aren't energized and fulfilled practicing a certain skill apart from really messed up stuff like trafficking, then you'll most likely experience burnout.

If you believe a better world is possible, who would you be in THAT world? If you don't know, then how can you help build that world? If your identity is dependent upon the problems of others, you'll not be able to, with integrity, contribute to a solution-- because that solution is a threat to your identity. At a deep level, it's a conflict of interest that will sabotage your impact and likely lead to burnout and disillusionment.

That's why I love Nicole, our Love146 social worker in the Love146 US Office. Nicole loves adolescent kids. Apart from her work with Love146, Nicole in her personal time is a committed mentor of five adolescent girls. From what I hear, these girls deal with issues of real life, but they're not all "glamour cases" in which Nicole would hang her identity as some savior. She just does it because she loves kids, not their problems. Nicole demonstrates her vision of a world without trafficking and exploitation by putting herself in that world and loving it. I, thus, trust her to walk beside victims when her work at Love146 requires it. 

I love design. Doing designs that help end trafficking is fulfilling, don't get me wrong. But if I didn't love design without a world full of problems, I could never work with such difficult things without burning out. I don't love trafficking- I love design. And that's what keeps me going. I'd love to be a designer in a world without slavery. Since that world doesn't yet exist, I'm glad to help build it in the meantime-- and by all means, join me.

-Marilyn

@marilyn146

ps: if the world was right, and you'd like to be things like a teacher, a web developer, a counselor, a filmmaker, an administrator, and a partier (aka rallier of movements)... then keep tuned into our employment page over the coming years. :)

"I need to take a shower, but my hair looks really really good already. #firstworldproblems"

"I just dropped my laptop on my foot! Ow! #firstworldproblems"

"I wish I could unwatch the entire Lost series so I could watch it again without knowing anything. #firstworldproblems"

"I hate when I forget my electric toothbrush on vacation... Using a regular toothbrush is the worst! #firstworldproblems"

So has anyone seen the trend on social media of joking about First World Problems? I find it hilarious. Poking jokes at the pseudo or privilege-dependent problems we face is actually a great way to laugh at ourselves while keeping perspective.

So where does this perspective hit a wall? When it reinforces the gap between our worlds as something uncrossable and unconnected. When it exacerbates the "us/them" at the expense of our common humanity.

Last week at workshop, I heard a humanitarian telling stories about reconciliation happening in Rwanda- of men and women forgiving those who'd murdered their family members and visiting the site of their deaths with the killers. Intense stuff. As he commented on their courage to overcome their hurt and anger, he said in passing "and we get angry about stuff like waiting in line for our latte or getting cut off in traffic!" 

It was a classic "First World Problems" moment- but it was really off, I think.

So, don't get me wrong: if hearing stories from the developing world gives you perspective on what's really important in your life, that's so legit. But still I thought to myself: "I'm fairly positive the people in this room have more to be angry about in life than waiting for a latte!"

I know I do. I'm angry that my father has chosen substances over his family. I'm angry that some people at the churches I grew up in in found it unacceptable to date outside of my racial background. I'm angry at those who took advantage and victimized me in childhood. Just because we're in the developed world, it doesn't mean we're less human.

As a communicator in the non-profit world, I am convinced that sensationalizing the suffering of those we help or invalidating the suffering of those who donate to our work breaks down the human connection between us. It robs us of the real value we have to give to one another.

Needing courage to face our pain is not a "third world problem." As I hear about those we help at Love146, I'm inspired towards greater hope and bravery as I confront my own real pain. It's my aim to pass to you that same gift. This cannot happen if I blind myself to the reality of pain in the lives of those reading this, or if I depict the pain of exploitation as something unrelatable and  beyond the human experience (don't get me wrong, it would probably raise more money, but it would still be cheap!) 

One of the easiest lies I could tell you is that because children affected by trafficking need help, you don't. That's a lie. We are all human: We hurt. We hope. We suffer. We Love. We need each other.

Let's not deny our humanity by thinking our problems in the developed world are invalid. And don't deny the humanity of those in the developing world by thinking they have nothing to offer you in their "poverty."

As a supporter of Love146, I think being connected to this work is a great help to each of us in the restoration of our own humanity. As a channel between our supporters and what's happening in the field, I'll keep trying my best not to get in the way.

-Marilyn

@Marilyn146

just a quick note: I do know the terms "first world" and "third world" have become derogatory. I also know trafficking is certainly not only a problem in the developing world. I kept with these conventions in this blog just to make a clear comment on the trend and thinking surrounding "first world problems."

The Love146  Round Home is a safehome in the Philippines offering holistic aftercare to survivors of child sex trafficking. In the Filipino language, there is a beautiful and rich word for which there is no equal in English. The word is pagdamay.

“Pagdamay” is like sympathy or grief, but those words aren’t deep enough. It is to align yourself — emotionally and practically — with someone in a difficult situation. 

A child who has been trafficked and exploited should evoke the deepest “pagdamay” in all of us. The root word — “damay” — implies being pulled into a mess. In the case of trafficking, the mess isn’t simply something that happened in a girl’s life- It is the girl's life.

The mess is self-contempt, hopelessness, cutting, bittersweet pregnancies and children born of abuse, calls from family asking you to go back to the brothel to earn money so you can feed them, flashbacks, post traumatic stress disorder, STDs, being in love with your trafficker... 

Aftercare is a work of "pagdamay." We must allow ourselves to be pulled into the mess in order to make way for restoration. None of this is easy or comfortable, yet we invite you to enter into the mess. When armed with Love, we have seen beautiful things.

"I determined, at every hazard, to lift up the standard of emancipation in the eyes of the nation...  That standard is now unfurled; and long may it float, unhurt by the spoliations of time or the missiles of a desperate foe -- yea, till every chain be broken, and every bondman set free!  Let Southern oppressors tremble -- let their secret abettors tremble -- let their Northern apologists tremble -- let all the enemies of the persecuted blacks tremble….

...I shall not array myself as the political partisan of any man.  In defending the great cause of human rights, I wish to derive the assistance of all religions and of all parties.

Assenting to the "self-evident truth" maintained in the American Declaration of Independence, "that all men are created equal, and endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights -- among which are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness," I shall strenuously contend for the immediate enfranchisement of our slave population….

I am aware that many object to the severity of my language; but is there not cause for severity?  I will be  as harsh as truth, and as uncompromising as justice.  On this subject, I do not wish to think, or to speak, or write, with moderation.  No!  no!  Tell a man whose house is on fire to give a moderate alarm; tell him to moderately rescue his wife from the hands of the ravisher; tell the mother to gradually extricate her babe from the fire into which it has fallen; -- but urge me not to use moderation in a cause like the present.  I am in earnest -- I will not equivocate -- I will not excuse -- I will not retreat a single inch -- AND I WILL BE HEARD."

-William Lloyd Garrison

Today is Human Trafficking Awareness Day in the US. Human Trafficking is a form of modern day slavery. From Jan 1st-11th, we’ve be posting daily blogs with inspiration from the history of the movement to end slavery. Our resolution is to protect & defend the vulnerable and to restore & empower survivors. Join us in beginning 2012 by pausing to recharge our spirits as we carry on towards the end of slavery and the sexual exploitation of children.

"It is up to each and every one of us to raise our voice against crimes

that deprive countless victims of their liberty, dignity and human rights.

We have to work together to realize the equal rights promised to all by the United Nations Charter.

And we must collectively give meaning to the words of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights that

“no one shall be held in slavery or servitude.”


- Ban Ki-moon